Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
