There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
