You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
