my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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