he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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