just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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