i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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