I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
we're so committed to being not committed
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
