When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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