i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
