Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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