is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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