I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
