nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
