oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
