it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
