Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
