These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
