I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
