i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
