I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
