Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
