And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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