Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
When are your genitals available?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
