Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
