How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize