That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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