I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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