Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
BRING THE BAGELS
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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