yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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