She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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