using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize