Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
