That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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