You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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