And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize