I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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