We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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