right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
