I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
