Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
