Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
