i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
