pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize