I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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