I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Life is so much better after having sex.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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