If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
