All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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