Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
