Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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