Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
