i will never coherently bang her
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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