i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
