Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We need a shit load of segways right now
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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