do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Jerry, you need to find god
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
