That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
