Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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