That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
