woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's shark week go big or go home
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
